You know when you're around someone and they talk or do anything like breathe or bat an eyelash and it's like nails on a damn chalkboard? If that person is in your life and they don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon, it may seem easier said than done to keep your cool around them. It's taken me lots of years of biting my tongue around people like this. Especially because I tend to not want to hurt anybody's feelings in the process. I've finally come to the conclusion on the best ways to help me stay chill and to remain in my calm element in moments of aggravation.
Step back
Take a step away. I Go outside or leave the room when I'm feeling the need to spill some beans and/or emotions. Going for a walk to get some air is the best excuse. Even better, so the annoyance doesn't follow me I just go lock myself in the bathroom for a couple minutes and take some breaths and time to collect my thoughts.
Be honest
There's a way to be honest without being brutal. I can speak my mind but also keep my calm. There's nothing wrong with letting someone know how you feel. When doing so, I never do this over text because you never know what can get misinterpreted from doing this. I either call them, meet them for coffee, or sometimes I write a detailed letter so that person knows it means enough to me to voice my opinion. Call me cheesy but if you got a letter from someone you'd probably think 'Damn this person really cares' right? A lot of the time, people may not even know we feel the way we do. To me I'm worth speaking my mind and having my voice heard. A closed mouth doesn’t get fed. I always feel better knowing I've cleared my mind of any emotions I've held back towards a person even if it’s not what they want to hear.
Vent to someone!
When I'm feeling some type of frustration I just can’t hold in, I, vent to my best friend, my spouse, or a family member! It's not healthy to hold all those negative feelings in, I have to get that shit out and talk about it! It’s easy to talk about it with someone who may feel the same way, it can be more of a relatable conversion than one being judged. Also, just laugh about it, joke about it or cry about it. Either way, I let it all out on the table. I find someone I can confine myself in and just release.
Block that bitch
Blocking someone is nothing but a simple setting on the phone to keep myself from hearing the bullshit. There's no crime in blocking someone in order to save your sanity. I don't usually have to block someone forever, just a little break is sometimes all I need.
Limit your time with them
Not seeing someone so often can take a lot of stress off my shoulders. After not indulging in annoyance for a while, it kinda seems not so bad when you have to. If I limit myself to the times where I absolutely have to see someone, I'm reminded that at the end of the visit that I get to go home and be at peace. There's no where that says I'm required to do anything for someone. I tend to consider every situation as if the bite is worth the chew.
Yeah-yeah
Sometimes when talking to someone I'm about to flip shit on, I just nod my head and yeah-yeah them. 'Yeah, you must be right' Even though it's hard to admit being wrong (even if I'm right) it's usually worth being the bigger person and just cutting the conversation short before shit goes real south.
Not always is it easy to keep chill when you’re feeling enraged, things happen quicker than a blink of an eye when we are upset that can cause some long term effects on our lives or our relationships with people. But keeping these tips in mind (especially as an adult) always tends to help me be chill in moments where I’m about to pop off and hopefully if it ever comes to a point for yourself, it’ll help you too.
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